New year, new “Chucks”, new me

The new year is starting out very well.  I feel I have a good grasp on homeschooling eighth grade. We are now in our eighth year.  I think homeschooling into high school won’t be a challenge.  The challenge is to get my now 14-year-old son to think about something other than playing Minecraft on the computer.  I shouldn’t be discouraged, he does well, he volunteers at the local science museum and humane society once a week.   He’s really a good kid.  People ask me all the time, “What is he going to do about college? Will you homeschool college?”  I reply with, “Homeschool college?  Are you crazy?  No, I won’t homeschool college. Did you think about college in eighth grade? Good grief!  Let the boy enjoy his middle school and high school years. There will be time for college.  I never thought about college until my senior year of high school!”  Okay, maybe I don’t say all of that, but I sure do think it, and then some–

IMG_5156

My birthday was a couple of days ago. I turned forty-two years old. Yeah, that’s right–I’m forty-two years old. I know, I can’t believe it either!  I am not going to question this unexplainable youthful feeling I have.  Maybe it’s from yoga. Wherever it comes from, I embraced it and I ordered a pair of orchid Converse Chucks.  They look like this.

Why do I feel the need to define my “youth” by wearing some Chucks? I don’t really know. Maybe because it’s fun. Maybe I’m in denial about getting older. The truth is, I’ll probably look ridiculous, but I don’t care.  I do have my limits.  There will never be any skinny jeans in my wardrobe.  I draw the line there.

Some of my friends and family say I don’t look forty-two, I certainly don’t act forty-two.  How does a forty-two year old mom act?  Does she listen to Dinosaur Jr?  Religiously?  I doubt it.  I’m still obsessed with J Mascis. There–I said it.  No worries, my husband knows all about it.  He isn’t jealous.  He thinks it’s kind of funny.  He knows how I am and accepts me.  I know I’m not like any other forty-ish year old moms I know. My husband knows it, too.

Here in North Carolina, one would think it was already spring.  Last winter was mild, and this winter is feeling about the same.  In fact, the warmer temperatures have allowed some trees to bloom early.

Flowering tree

There was a small amount of snowfall in our area a couple of days ago.  The blanket of snow was nice to see on my birthday. Wish I could have seen this tree with snow on its blooms.

There isn’t much else to tell, other than I can say I am in a much better place than I was a year ago.  This time last year was horrible for me, and I never want to experience what I experienced ever again. Depression. Confusion. Anxiety that crippled me for weeks on end.  If you have ever felt real anxiety, you know how awful and scary it feels.  That tightness in your chest, the dreadful unhappiness, loss of appetite, and insomnia.  I lived on supplements like passion-flower during the day and valerian root at night to ease the symptoms of anxiety.  It helped only a little.  I couldn’t focus on homeschooling, chores, my home, or my life. I disappeared from blogging for a while and tried to get myself together.  I wanted to disappear all together, but I hung in there.  It took me several months, but I finally did it.  With that said, I’ll share a video of  Dinosaur Jr., of course.  J’s acoustical version in the studio is awesome!

But if you want to rock it out, listen to the original version:

Enough of my rambling. I’m just glad happy to be me again. Thanks for reading my blog.   🙂

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7 Comments

Filed under blogging, family, homeschool, life, moms, music, thoughts, videos

7 responses to “New year, new “Chucks”, new me

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAMMY!!!!!!!!

    If you didn’t have your son with you in the photo, if you were just rocking a t shirt, jeans, and your chucks, you know you’d get carded. 42 is just a state of mind. Don’t ever feel the need to apologize to anyone for being exactly who you are, because my friend, you are beautiful, inside and out. Last year was last year. We all go through downturns. Some last longer than others. Some are worse than others. What matters is you’re back now and feeling fabulous.

    Your son is too. And that shows! Minecraft is an obsession with all my daughters’ friends – from 9 to 14, so your son is completely in synch w/ his peers. As for college. Sheesh. Whether your son goes away for college, lives at home, whatever he decides will be right for him, and that’s all that matters. He’s in 8th grade for pete’s sake. WHO CARES?!

    I love your new chucks, and I cannot wait to see what mischief and or merrymaking you get into while wearing them this year.

    XOXO!

    • Wow Christy! Thank you so much for the encouraging reply! And thank you for the birthday wish. You are right about everything. Age is just a state of mind, but some days I feel it catching up with me. When that happens, I’ll put on my chucks and turn into an age defying superhero! LOL!

      I’m relieved to know that my son is in synch with his peers. I think he is more aware of what is in with his peers than I am. I don’t really like that he is getting older either.

      Last year was the worst ever, but I’ve already put it behind me. Thank God I’m back…I feel back…I guess that is what matters.

  2. A belate happy birthday!!!!!
    42??? You must have good genes … that aren’t skinny.

    I can’t remember what I wanted to be in grade 8 … probably “not” in grade 8 would have been my answer.

    Good to hear things are going better these days. I usually try to leave crap behind me. hee hee!

    • Hey there! Thanks for the birthday wish and the reply. I guess I have good genes. They were good last time I checked.

      And, my son would agree with not wanting to be in 8th grade. Maybe high school will be more of a challenge than I thought. 😮

  3. Nice Chucks!

    I hated grade 8 with a hateful deadly hate! Hope your son likes his teacher.

  4. Hey babe! Hope you are still hot rocking those purple chucks in this seriously HOT weather. Stay cool, my beautiful friend! XO!!

    • Hey there! Trying to stay cool and DRY here in the south. UGH! It’s been one rainy summer…working on keeping my purple chucks ‘clean’. 🙂

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